Episode Transcript
Good day, my deadly darlings, this is our first show of 2019 and I hope you’re all still enjoying the New Year.
Before I start talking about the topic at hand, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge some of the other podcasts available from our team over at YabYum Music + Arts. First, we have Band Basics hosted by the handsome and debonair Mark Anderson, senior editor at YabYum, where he talks to musicians about the in-and-outs of that music life. Everything from touring to licensing to finding balance between work-home-and-band will be covered in this interview-style podcast. Next, we offer Prizefighting Kangaroo and, as the name clearly suggests, this show is about movies and cinema culture hosted by two cultural critics, and jackamoes from the desert, Amy Young and Ashley Naftule. YYMA will be launching two additional podcasts later this year - Let’s Be Adults About This & Confessions from the Nocturne Nebula - so make sure you’re following us online to stay update about those projects. To find any of the shows discussed, or more episodes of The Mortician’s Daughter, head to YabYum West.com and select podcasts - yab yum west.com - or use your preferred podcasting platform to locate your favorite YabYum Shows.
Okay, moving right along, I don’t know how you feel about those increasingly distant New Year’s Resolutions, but I love resolutions. Truth be told, I’m actually a big fan of celebrating just about anything: New Years, new jobs, birthdays, holidays, Arbor Day, I don’t care. Point is, I’m ready to celebrate.
Some find that surprising, given my grim proclivities, but I believe that one should strive for balance. For as much as we must suffer loss in this world, we must fervently seek out joy. Or so my loosely-structured belief system goes. But, this approach can be hedonistically problematic so it’s best to add a measure of morality. That being said, everyone must divine their own path. I think.
Anyway, back to the topic at hand, celebrations. I love celebrations. For someone who’s an atheist and a bit of an absurdly optimistic skeptic, I love holidays. Christmas, Beltane, Diwali. I’m in. I’ve met Santeria Priests and attended skyclad wiccan rituals.
And, for me, New Years Eve is a holiday to be celebrated in full. You have to prepare for it. I like to spend time looking back at the past years successes and its learning opportunities. I like to look forward at the year ahead, to take an accounting of knowns and unknowns, before I begin my list of resolutions. After careful consideration, I’ll draw up my resolutions for the New Year. I usually shoot for somewhere around a 75% commitment level.
Basically, every year, I promise myself I will do a number of things - write a novel, travel to another country, make a podcast, exercise more - and then I set out for at least a 75%. That’s a C.
Still, I would contend that my annual commitment to crafting my New Years Resolutions has pushed me toward attaining some goals in a timely fashion. That being said, some things keep popping up on my list year after year.
Like exercising more and eating better.
And so this year I got to thinking, do I really need to stick this on my list this year? Maybe I could hit 100% success if I just scratch off the regulars. Afterall, I always remember the story about that guy that had a heart attack on the treadmill next to my friend’s dad at the YMCA when I was in high school. What if I’m that guy? What if my New Year New Me leads me to fatal clash with an elliptical machine? I do believe that thing hates me - what if, this year, it tries to kill me?
So, of course, I did a little research… well, a lot of research. And thanks to the k-hole that is the internet, I learned much about the dangers of common New Years resolutions just for those of us who are maybe starting to feel bad about not hitting that 100% stride this year.
So, let’s start with my favorite: get in shape. According to Reader’s Digest, this is the most common New Years resolution and that probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise. And get in shape is followed by “lose weight” as the second most common resolution. [1]
So this probably means there are plenty of other people out there who add some health oriented goals to their annual New Years resolutions. Maybe even most people. Back when I made time for the gym on the regular, I would dread the onslaught of extra attendees every January when those get-fit resolutions kicked off. By February, the numbers usually fell back to just the regulars.
But, according to the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, gyms can present all sorts of hazards to the unwary weekend workout warrior.
From 1990 to 2007, 114 people died from using free weights and weight machines. And almost half a million people were injured while exercising or using exercise equipment in 2012 alone. In fact, according to a study published in 2013, “there is a rate of 3.1 injuries for every 1,000 hours spent doing CrossFit training.” [2]
And, the culprit lurking in your gym that is most likely to wreak havoc rather than reaped rewards? The Treadmill. Once again, the US National Electronic Injury Surveillance System tells us that treadmills cause more damage to unsuspecting gym patrons than any other piece of equipment one might find in their nearby gym.
According to the Independent out of the UK, study data shows "that most injuries involved shin splints, stress fractures, and runner’s knee – all likely to have resulted from the person pushing themselves too hard or not warming up properly." [3]
Medicine balls are a surprising runner up in the dangerous gym equipment arena. You must be mindful of the ricochet effect when you bounce those bad boys or you could sustain a head injury that you can’t write home about. [3]
Truth be told, more than 10,000 people are treated in emergency rooms across the country for injuries related sports, recreation, and exercise EVERY DAY.
[5]
So maybe right now you’re thinking, “No pain, no gain,” right? I mean, people pull through their gym mishaps, right? Wrong. At least, a little wrong.
And I’m here to tell you that there are more risks than simply succumbing to a heart attack as you round the twenty minute mark during that Monday workout.
Sure, the number of heart attacks that occur at gyms is not a number reported by the National Electronic Injury Surveillance System, but one can assume it happens with enough regularity because everyone seems to have their own story of that one friend who saw that one guy die during his workout. Right? Everyone knows at least one, right? Please someone drop me a line if not and let me know my life just so happens to be particularly morbid and, no, not everyone is included in this group. Someone should let me know.
Anyway, moving right along….
Yes, statistics show that living that gym life can lead to a longer life. Sure, I’ll give you that.
But safety should be your primary focus if you go all-in and stick with that get fit resolution this year… or you might end up with a crushed trachea. Yep, that bench press can be a bit of a doozy if you don’t have a spotter in place.
Men’s Health has some tales of gym woes including Kyle Thomson, the criminal justice student at Iowa State, who had his necked crushed by 140kg or Malayasian student Wang Zongren who was only 20 when 100 kg ended his life. [6]
And who can forget poor Ben Shaw who was only 15 years old when he tried to bench 100kg and wound up trapped up for 30 minutes before another person at the gym found him? Poor kid died as a result. [6]
So, always have a buddy when you’re weight training and you’ll reduce your risk. But, if I can teach you just one thing, dear listeners, it is that there is no avoiding death.
Just last summer, a 33-year-old man was shot at his gym down in NOLA, that’s New Orleans, for those outside the states. And then there was George Barker who was stabbed leaving the gym in London. [7/8] One man was stabbed to death in the parking lot of my gym in Chandler, Arizona. True story.
Sure, sure, sure, you’re definitely more likely to reduce your risk of diabetes or heart disease if you workout regularly than you are to die by violence leaving the gym. Point is, it can happen.
And, yes, heart attacks are probably your greatest workout threat in terms of actually dying as a result. I mean, Bob Harper, personal trainer to the celebrities, had a heart attack, for goodness sake. If Bob Harper is at risk, I have to assume no one is safe. [11]
And when Bob Harper had a heart attack, he was saved by two little acronyms: CPR & AED or Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation and Automated External Defibrillators.
If you plan on continuing that get-fit goal, you should make sure your gym is equipped with defibrillators AND people who can use them. That second part is important. Ask Richard Wong or, rather, you should ask his wife.
The widow of Richard Wong, a Hong Kong man who died during a fitness class, sued the gym chain, claiming negligent death for providing defibrillators, but not anyone on staff who knew how to use one. [9]
And, for the gym owners and personal trainers out there or even just the fitness buddies, you should consider the importance of having some life-saving knowledge banked in terms of both CPR and how to operate a defibrillator. Yes, instructions are included but it’s best to read them before an incident calls for that knowledge.
If you’re concerned about your own heart attack risk, there’s an easy way to ascertain your risk level before you start pushing that cardiac zone. Run up four flights of stairs in under a minute and see how you feel. According to a study presented to the European Society of Cardiology, this quick “exercise test… can predict… risk of premature death from heart disease, cancer and other causes”. So tie up your sneakers and find four flights of stairs to test your prospects.
According to the study’s author, “Physical activity has positive effect on blood pressure and lipids, reduces inflammation and improves the body`s immune response to tumors” and 12,615 participants took part that can support that claim.
Well, so much for hedonism. I might actually try to accomplish ALL my resolutions this year. Maybe.
But, let us go back to that list of the most popular New Years resolutions for a moment. After getting healthier and losing weight, we find “Enjoy Life to the fullest.” [1]
That’s really what we’re all about here. Savoring life because you can’t be too sure about what comes after. What we know is now.
Maybe find something fun to get you through that recommended “2 ½ hours to five hours a week of moderate intensity exercise”. I personally enjoy a nice night time walk with my fella and Eleanor, the dog faced girl, after the neighbors have locked themselves away in their pajamas to watch their programs.
Find your thing and do it. Make this year yours. It’s only March. You still have time.
I’ll be back next month to talk about Nietzsche and Eternal Recurrence. Until then, stay safe and sassy, my darlings.
“Deadly Resolution” was written and performed by Carly Schorman and produced by Mark Anderson and the team at YabYum Music + Arts. Our theme song was performed by Travis James. Thank you for listening.
